Crossing the Line Read online

  “Maybe we should have Lillian set it up. Freak him out a bit more,” Quinn suggests.

  “Then you show up instead of Lillian and see how bad he’s sweating,” Vivian chimes in.

  “Jeez, you gals have this all planned out,” Charlotte says.

  “You can thank us later,” Quinn responds and Vivian sends a fist-bump emoji.

  I go over and take a picture of Lillian’s paddle. I send it to Charlotte.

  Within a few minutes, Xander’s phone, which is sitting on the table, has the picture pop up with, “I own you,” written in red on it and a lip emoji.

  “Nice work, Charlotte,” I write to her.

  “How do you know what I just did?”

  “Xander’s phone is on the table.”

  “Oh, gotcha.”

  The last two guys finish, and the MC comes back on stage. “And now, as a special treat, here to reclaim his title, is our reigning champion, Mr. Noah Parker!”

  My mouth hangs to the floor as the entire bar goes crazy, and Noah swaggers out in his bright-blue speedo. Women are jumping up and down, trying to grab him on the stage, and the bouncers are pushing the women away.

  Instead of the bidding beginning at one hundred like the MC did for the other men, he starts right off at a thousand and goes up in two-hundred-fifty-dollar increments.

  Noah’s phone is going crazy with text messages, but I don’t even read them because not only am I licking my lips at Noah’s rock-hard, sexy-as-hell body, but the women are so gaga about him I’m rather fascinated by it.

  I always knew Noah was hot, but apparently, everyone else does, too.

  Noah is strutting his stuff, the MC is telling him what muscle to flex and to do this pose, etc., and I’m laughing but also wanting to rub my body up against his. Noah Parker is, without a doubt, a hot piece of ass. And the entire bar knows it.

  The bidding goes quick and is soon over five thousand dollars, but women are dropping out.

  A blonde seems adamant about winning him, and Noah’s eyes widen at me, as if wondering why I’m not bidding. I shrug at him as he throws me another “help” look.

  It’s down to two women, and the bid is over seven thousand, and the one bidder is pulling out. The blonde is about to win when I hold my paddle up.

  The blonde gawks. Noah winks at me.

  Picking up my paddle, I stand next to the blonde, near the front of the stage. The MC calls out eight thousand, and she raises her paddle.

  “Eight thousand two hundred and fifty,” the MC calls out.

  I raise my paddle.

  The bar has quieted, most people intently watching us. As we go back and forth, I realize that this woman is fighting for Noah. She wants him, and she’s not ready to back down.

  She definitely wants some dessert.

  The thought makes me wrack my brain.

  Bennett Parker gives each of their employees up to a ten-thousand-dollar match for donations to charity. I max it out every year, but I haven’t touched it this year.

  I always pick a cause and donate fifteen thousand. Bennett Parker’s match allows me to donate twenty-five thousand annually.

  As the blonde holds her paddle up for ten thousand, I hold my paddle up. “Twenty-five thousand.”

  The room grows quiet. Noah’s eyes widen, and a big grin forms on his face.

  The blonde lady, well, she appears defeated, and I’m hoping she’s going to go away because if she doesn’t, then I’m out. This is my limit.

  Slowly, she holds out her hand to me. “Well played. He’s yours.”

  The MC announces, “We have a winner!” and before he is done, Noah jumps off the stage and kisses me.

  The entire bar is hooting and hollering, and my hands are groping his naked back in the middle of the crowded bar.

  Noah pulls back with a cocky expression. “Twenty-five thousand?”

  “I expect dessert with that.”

  After a few hours, Noah and I leave The Vibrator. Once we get outside, he puts his arm around me. “I think it’s time you really experienced New York.”

  “The Vibrator isn’t experiencing New York?”

  “It’s a good start.”

  “Okay, so what is really experiencing it?”

  “Cheese pizza.”

  “Cheese pizza?”

  “Yep.”

  “You know you now live in Chicago, and we have real pizza, right?”

  Noah laughs. “That is not real pizza.”

  “Don’t ever say that in Chicago, you might not survive.”

  He pulls me into a pizza place, and the smell of garlic and cheese fills my nose. Noah steers me to the counter and orders a large cheese pizza then turns toward me. “Piper, what do you want to drink?”

  “Water is fine.”

  Noah picks up two bottles, and we go sit down at a table. He glances at his watch.

  “You have a hot date?”

  “You’re three and a half hours in. You having fun?”

  I unsuccessfully try to keep a straight face. “I’ll let you know after the full twenty-four hours is up.”

  Noah slams his fist into his chest. “You kill me, Piper.”

  I decide to drop him a bone. “Your friends are nice. You probably miss them, huh?”

  Noah nods. “More than I thought I would.”

  “Are they going to visit you soon?”

  He shrugs. “They all have crazy schedules. They eventually will.”

  “Do you miss being a paramedic?”

  Noah’s jaw clenches. I think he might tell me it’s none of my business, but he doesn’t. “I miss working with the guys every day. I miss helping people. I don’t miss the bad things.”

  “Bad things?”

  He taps his fingers on the table. “The deaths.”

  My common sense tells me to change the subject, but I blurt out, “Were there a lot of deaths?”

  “Every week, sometimes daily.”

  Instinctively, I put my hand over his. “That must have been hard for you.”

  The pizza arrives at our table, and I withdraw my hand.

  Noah leans over the pizza and inhales.

  Giggling, I mimic his actions. “Okay, I’ll admit it smells delicious.”

  Tearing a piece off, he hands it to me.

  “What?”

  “Try it.”

  I take a bite, chew, and swallow it.

  Noah is watching me. “Well?”

  “It’s good,” I admit.

  Noah pumps his fist in the air then takes a big bite. “Oh, this is so good!”

  “Don’t have an orgasm over it.”

  “This is almost as good.” He leans in and pecks my lips.

  We eat in silence for a bit.

  “What time is our meeting tomorrow?” I ask him.

  He groans. “It’s at two. Don’t ruin my pizza by talking about work, please.”

  Jerking my head in surprise, I stare at him.

  “What?”

  “I thought you love to work.”

  “It’s just a necessary evil.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He puts his piece of pizza down on his plate.

  “Why are you scowling at me like that?”

  “I’m taking this time off our twenty-four hours.”

  Softly, I laugh. “What?”

  “Talking about work isn’t fun. We’re supposed to be having fun, remember?”

  “Well, technically, I’m not supposed to be having fun,” I tease him.

  “But you were until you brought up work, right?”

  “Well yeah, but...”

  Noah pumps his arm in the air again.

  “What?”

  “You just admitted you were having fun. So far, I win!”

  “Hey, that wasn’t fair. You just tricked me.”

  “Oops. Sorry, but not sorry.”

  I’m grinning at him, and I take my hand and brush it above his ear. “So, what do you mean by necessary evil? I thought you liked what you do.�
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  Noah sighs. “You don’t know when to let things go, do you, Piper?”

  I smirk at him. “Sorry, but not sorry?”

  I expect him to be mad at me, but Noah softly laughs and shakes his head.

  “I’ll give you a kiss if you answer my question.”

  “Really? You’re going to trade sexual favors to get me to talk now?”

  I shrug. “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”

  “Okay, Piper. You win. I like what I do. I’m good at what I do. But I don’t like how it consumes my life.”

  “Then why do you let it?”

  His leg bounces. “Can we change the subject?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do we need to change the subject?”

  “Because we’re supposed to be having fun.”

  “I won’t hold this against you in the fun department.”

  “Piper, let it go.”

  “No, tell me why it consumes you.”

  “Because no one on earth is going to make this right except me,” he blurts out.

  I’m a little shocked by his admission, but I quickly ask, “Make what right?”

  He puts his hands over his face and mutters, “Piper.”

  “Tell me,” I push.

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  Noah’s voice gets stern. “No, I can’t.”

  “Because it has to do with our project?”

  He blows air out of his mouth while glancing at the ceiling. “Yes.”

  For the millionth time since learning about his project, I get angry. “I’m so tired of your inability to be honest with me.”

  He pushes his plate away. “I’m not lying to you. Not telling you something isn’t the same as lying.”

  “That’s such a cop-out, Noah.”

  “Okay, Piper. Let me ask you this, is there anything in your life you don’t want me to know?”

  That we don’t need the condom since we’re both clean, and I can’t get pregnant.

  “That’s different,” I tell him.

  “Oh. So there is something. So how is it different?”

  “Mine’s personal.”

  “So’s mine.”

  “But I’m involved in whatever it is that you’re trying to do.”

  Noah shifts in his seat. “Your personal thing…it doesn’t involve me in any way?”

  Crap. Does he somehow know? My heart thumps faster. I don’t answer him.

  He says in surprise, “It does involve me?”

  I open my mouth to speak but stop, because one thing I don’t want to be is a liar. But I also don’t want to admit it to him.

  “What’s your secret, Piper?” Noah has me cornered, and I realize the tables have been flipped. I’m now the one trying my hardest to keep my secret from him.

  “Just drop it, Noah.”

  He crosses his arms. “What is it? What are you hiding?”

  “I’m not hiding anything. I just don’t want to tell you about my personal life.”

  Noah sadly shakes his head. “There’s where you and I differ, Piper. I don’t want to not tell you about my personal life. I don’t want to tell you because of your safety. You tell me to let you in, but you won’t let me in.”

  My insides are shaking. I can’t deny what Noah is claiming, but I also don’t want it to be true. And he’s right.

  He stands up. “I’ll tell you what, Piper. When you decide you’re ready to let me in, let me know, and I’ll do the same. And so you’re aware, if there’s anyone I actually want to let in, it’s you.”

  “So I’m supposed to spill it all, and you get to tell me one thing then keep everything else to yourself? The truth is you’re full of secrets, Noah. I only have one.”

  Noah rubs his face, and I know that I’ve just spoken the truth.

  “You talk a good game, Noah, but at the end of the day, it’s just all talk.”

  16

  Noah

  Everything is going so well. Then Piper has to push, and I blurt out that no one on earth is going to make it right except me.

  While I normally would be mad only at myself, Piper’s admission that her secret somehow involves me angers me.

  It’s hypocritical for me to be mad at her, but all this time, she’s been pushing me to tell her about my business when she was hiding something from me.

  And she thinks I’m all talk when I feel like I’ve actually told her more today than ever before.

  On the way back to the hotel, I try to figure out what she could be hiding from me, but I don’t know what it could be.

  The entire time back, we don’t say a word to the other, and, once we get into the room, Piper starts packing her suitcase.

  Great. This is not going how I want it to go. As upset with her as I might be, I don’t want her to leave. I step in front of her. “Don’t go.”

  She looks at me in surprise.

  “Do you think I want you to leave?”

  She slowly shrugs, and her lip is shaking.

  Damn it. I don’t want to move backward when we’ve come so far.

  I pull her into me and can feel her trembling. “Hey,” I softly say.

  “I don’t want to do this, Noah.”

  I push her chin up. “Do what?”

  “The gray area.”

  “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

  “I just need to go back to what I can count on, and that’s my two-plus-two-equals-four world.”

  She thinks I’m gray and can’t be counted on. My heart sinks a little lower.

  I am gray. I know I’m gray. But I also know if she were mine, she could count on me because she would be my everything.

  “Maybe gray doesn’t mean you can’t count on it. Maybe it just means that it’s a little more complicated.”

  Crushing my soul further, Piper’s face turns sad, and her lip shakes harder, as her hazel orbs stare into mine. “I’ve had complicated enough in my life. I don’t need more of it.”

  “What was complicated?”

  “I’m not talking about it.”

  I sigh. “So, I’m the gray?”

  “Yes.”

  No. This cannot be happening. Things were going so well.

  In a quick move, I pick her up.

  “Noah, let me down,” Piper demands.

  I carry her to the bed, and I sit against the headboard with her curled up on me. “Tell me why I’m gray.”

  “You’re too hidden. I don’t have enough secrets for you to spill all yours. You’ll always be hidden, so you’re too gray, and I need to go back to normalcy.”

  No, no, no!

  I put my arms around her tighter. Before I know what I’m doing, I blurt out, “Then let me tell you something. You don’t have to tell me your secret, but I’ll tell you how my brother died.”

  Shit. Why did I say that?

  Piper freezes. “Why would you do that?”

  “Because you need me to give you something.”

  She scans my eyes, and my entire body is quivering inside.

  “You’re going to tell me, and I don’t have to tell you anything?”

  “Yes. But you can’t leave after. You have to stay with me for the night.”

  She thinks about it but eventually agrees. “Okay.”

  “And you said you would kiss me back at the pizza place, and you haven’t, so I’m cashing in now.”

  Piper briefly hesitates then leans into me, strokes my head, and places her delicious lips on mine, reminding me as hard as this is going to be to tell her, that she’s worth the pain because it’s going to be way more agonizing if she isn’t in my life.

  She sits against the headboard next to me and waits.

  My heart is racing, and I remind myself to breathe. I nervously admit, “I don’t know where to start. I’ve never had to tell anyone this before.”

  She squeezes my hand. “Tell me his name.”

  “Nathan. His name was Nathan.
” And just saying his name makes me turn away and blink back tears.

  “He was two years younger than you?”

  “Yes.”

  “How old was he when he died?”

  “Twenty.”

  “Were you close?”

  A tear drips down my face, and I quickly wipe it away. “Yeah, we were.”

  “You said you didn’t save him. What does that mean?”

  I have to turn away again, and my breath feels tight and unstable.

  Piper props her body on mine and straddles me. She places her hand on my heart then cups my face. “Breathe, Noah.” She takes deep breaths with me.

  When my breathing starts to return to normal, Piper says, “If you don’t want to finish, it’s okay. I’ll still stay.”

  I’m tempted to stop and not continue, but I don’t want Piper to think she can’t count on me because of how gray I am. “I’ll tell you, but can you kiss me again?”

  She smiles at me and gives me the sweetest kiss on earth, once again reminding me she’s worth more than the pain of talking. So when she pulls back, I have the courage to continue.

  “Nathan had diabetes and took insulin. He was putting himself through school, like me, but he worked for a private company. They switched insurances, and he couldn’t afford the insulin, but he didn’t tell me.” I stop and blink faster.

  Piper wipes tears off my face.

  I can’t look at her, but I continue, “After he died, I found out he had been rationing his insulin.”

  “Noah, that’s not your fault.”

  I jerk my head at her. “I was finishing my shift, and the call came in. He said my name when I got there. It was faint, but I heard it. And then he went cold, and I couldn’t bring him back. I tried, Piper, I tried so hard.” The dam breaks, and I sob all over Piper, who tugs me into her arms.

  “Shh. It’s not your fault,” she whispers.

  “It was. I should have made sure he was taking his insulin properly,” I cry.

  Piper holds me tighter. “He was an adult. You couldn’t have known.”

  I sob harder. “He was my little brother. I should have known.”

  “Shh,” Piper whispers, and I realize her tears are falling on my forehead.

  I should stop there, but my emotions have gotten the best of me, and I blurt out, sobbing, “They need to pay. They all need to pay.”

  “Who needs to pay?”